


october, over and over

by sader



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Phan, Established Relationship, M/M, Phan Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 18:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sader/pseuds/sader
Summary: it's that time of year again.





	

October 19, 2009

Phil stands and waits at the train station, shifting his weight nervously, and thinks about how this is finally happening. He wonders if Dan will meet him and decide he doesn't like him as much as he thought. He wonders if he's just embarrassing himself.

Dan stands in the train car, frantically tapping his hand against his thigh. "My hair looks so bad today," he thinks. "I should've gone with the other shirt." He thinks this is too good to be true.

The train stops, the doors open. When Dan steps out, he scans the crowd and finds the eyes he'd only ever seen through a computer screen; they're so blue, you could go swimming in them. Phil smiles at him warmly, and in that moment they both know they're not turning back now.

 

October 19, 2010

They're at Phil's apartment, and it's finally getting colder outside. Dan is stretched out on the couch, doing schoolwork with his legs resting on Phil's lap. He looks up. "What if I stopped doing university?"

Phil turns toward him. "What, like, dropping out? I thought you liked it."

Dan looks down at his hands. "Yeah, it was just hypothetical, I guess."

"Oh. What would you want to do instead?"

"What?"

"Hypothetically, what would you do instead of university?"

"I don't know, maybe travel somewhere."

"Where would you wanna go?"

Dan pauses to think, then looks at Phil. "Everywhere. Anywhere, with you."

Phil smiles, pats Dan's legs, then goes to turn up the thermostat. Dan leans his head back, closes his eyes, and thinks about how it's always warmer when he's with Phil.

 

October 19, 2011

Phil's sitting in their lounge while Dan's on the phone in the hallway, his voice getting increasingly tense. When he hangs up and returns to the lounge, Phil looks at him. "How'd it go?"

Dan scoffs. "How do you think?"

"I know. I was just asking anyway."

Dan sighs and sits on the couch next to Phil. His eyes cloud. "It's just they don't understand why I didn't go back to university this year and they think this is all a passing phase and one day I'll wake up and join reality again and I -"

Phil reaches for Dan's hands, interlocking their fingers. "They'll get over it eventually."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't. But I hope they will, for your sake. You deserve to decide your future, and you deserve support for whatever that decision may be."

Dan looks at Phil and half-smiles. "Even if it is true, that I do deserve all those things, I definitely don't deserve you."

Phil chuckles. "Funny, I've been thinking the same thing about you for years."

 

October 19, 2012

They're filming an episode of the Super Amazing Project, sitting together in the bathtub. Between takes, Dan picks up a shampoo bottle and squints, trying to read the label in the dark. "You bought mango shampoo? How exotic."

"What? It was on sale and it smells amazing!" Phil leans his head toward Dan. "Here. Smell!"

Dan rolls his eyes and leans closer to smell Phil's hair. "Okay, fine, you're right."

"I know. Just ask and you can take a whiff whenever you want."

Dan laughs and shakes his head, smiling at Phil. "Whenever I want? Wow, I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

Phil bites his lip, pretending to think hard for a second. He smiles slowly and looks at Dan. "You know, you could even use the shampoo right now!"

Before Dan can react, Phil gets out of the tub and turns on the shower. Dan jumps up and yelps at the sudden stream of cold water. "PHIL! What the fuck?!"

Phil bursts into uncontrollable laughter, holding his sides and watching Dan get soaked. Dan flashes Phil an annoyed look, which Phil can just barely make out. A couple seconds later, Phil reaches for Dan's hand to help him out. Dan takes his hand, pulling Phil closer to the tub. He blinks slowly and bites his lip suggestively. Phil is caught off-guard long enough to let Dan pull him even closer. Dan leans to whisper in Phil's ear. "Y'know, Phil, you could always join me."

Dan pulls Phil into the cold shower before he has time to process what just happened. Phil jumps at the temperature. "DAN! That's not fair! You can't just...use that face on me!"

"Not my fault you're WEAK, Phil Lester!" Dan pushes Phil's face into the water and cackles. They continue play fighting, laughing hysterically as the water gradually soaks them both. Their camera, having been left on record, runs out of memory, although they had forgotten about the camera awhile ago.

 

October 19, 2013

Dan is sitting at his piano when Phil walks in. "Learning anything new?"

Dan turns. "Not really, just playing around."

"Play me something."

Dan smirks and starts playing the opening notes to that old Final Fantasy song. Phil looks amused. "I'm surprised you still know how to play that, to be honest. It's been like, what, four years?"

"Yeah, I don't think I ever really forgot."

Phil motions for Dan to scoot over and joins him on the piano bench. "Well, I did. I'm not musically gifted like you are. Teach me again?"

Dan laughs at being called musically gifted, but proceeds to take Phil's hands and place them on the correct keys. He puts his hands over Phil's and moves them both through the song. It's as if they're taking a tour of their own history. After they complete the song a couple times, Phil says, "Okay, I wanna try it by myself now!" Dan takes his hands off and watches Phil play through the song, listening to him hum along to the tune.

"I thought you forgot this song?"

"I forgot how to play it, but I never forgot how it went."

Dan smiles and closes his eyes, listening as Phil completes the song. In that moment he's eighteen again, looking out over Manchester with the love of his life. The music stops and Phil nudges him. "Dan?"

Dan snaps out of his haze. "Yeah, sorry, just daydreaming. You did really well!"

"But it's not daytime! Wouldn't you technically be 'evening-dreaming?'"

Dan rolls his eyes. "Shut up."

Phil stands. "Play me something for real now."

"Like what?"

"Anything really, doesn't matter."

"I mean I'm not exactly good. I only know, like, ten disjointed songs at best and even then getting all the notes right is a guessing game -"

"Dan. Anything will sound perfect, honestly."

Dan huffs and turns back to the piano. He starts playing Fur Elise as Phil goes to lie down on Dan's bed. He watches Dan play, smiling fondly and eventually dozing off.

 

October 19, 2014

It's early morning, and Dan and Phil are woken by the sounds of construction outside Phil's window. Dan groans and rolls closer to Phil. "It should be illegal for people to make noise before eleven," Dan complains, his voice muffled into a pillow.

Phil opens his eyes long enough to raise an eyebrow at Dan. "All noise?"

"Shut up." Dan smiles and throws his arm across Phil. "Your shoulders are so bony."

Phil yawns and doesn't open his eyes. "Sorry, I forgot to put my shoulder pads on before bed last night."

"I'll let it slide this time." Dan pulls himself closer to Phil and rests his head on his chest. Phil lazily strokes Dan's hair and traces circles on his arm. Dan sighs. "Can we stay like this forever?"

"We could, but imagine the bedsores."

"Ha ha, but seriously. I'm gonna freeze time so we can keep sleeping, sound good?"

"Sounds great, Dan."

Dan barely hears Phil as he's already started drifting back to sleep, feeling the steady rise and fall of Phil's chest.

 

October 19, 2015

They're doing a joint live show, and Dan reads from the chat: "Happy six-year friendaversary!"

Phil chimes in. "Oh yeah! Our friendaversary!"

The subject swiftly changes as Dan continues to read other posts. His foot is hooked around Phil's ankle below the webcam's view.

After the live show, they order take-out and sit together on the couch, watching the Cube. Phil looks up from his food. "Deja vu."

Dan nods and chuckles. "I know, right?"

"Weren't we at my parents' house the first time we did this?"

"Yeah, it was like, one of the first times we were together in person."

Phil smiles as the memory floods back to him instantly.

Dan continues. "If only I could go back in time and warn my younger self that in several years time, he'd be doing the exact same thing...maybe there'd be a chance for him to get out while he still can!"

Phil rolls his eyes and throws a noodle at Dan, who laughs and swats it away.

Later they're lying in bed, tangled up in the sheets, their legs intertwined. Phil wraps his arms around Dan and pulls him closer as Dan hums his approval. Phil trails his fingers up and down Dan's spine.

"I love you," Dan says, his voice low against Phil's chest.

"Hmm?"

Dan turns his head up toward Phil. "I said I love you."

"Okay, that's what I thought you said."

Dan looks up expectantly. "Well?"

Phil kisses Dan's forehead and murmurs into his hair. "I love you, too." Dan smiles and settles back against Phil's chest. As they're falling asleep, Phil whispers, "Hey, Dan?"

"Hmm?"

Phil smirks. "Happy friendaversary."

 

October 19, 2016

Dan's in his room cleaning when he hears Phil in the kitchen, starting dinner. He makes his way down the dim hallway, walks into the kitchen and sees Phil at the stove. He slowly wraps his arms around him from behind, Phil jumping slightly at the surprise before sighing and leaning into Dan. "Hungry?"

"Always. We eat dinner so late."

"Yeah, I think it's because I got so used to cooking late on your live show days. Now nighttime just feels more like dinnertime, y'know?"

Dan hums in agreement. He watches Phil stirring the sauce, chin resting on his shoulder, and thinks about how his life could've been completely different if he had never gotten on the train all those years ago, how you don't really know how important a decision will be until you're looking back at it, already living with its effects.

Phil sticks the spoon in Dan's face, snapping him back to the world in front of him. "Taste?"

Dan burns his mouth slightly, though he can't complain because the sauce is perfect; Phil is making his favorite, after all.

Phil gently escapes Dan's grasp, turns around to face him and gives an amused look. "From that orgasm face you have on right now, I take it the sauce is done?"

Dan nods, still licking the spoon.

Once dinner is ready, they curl up on the couch to eat, the lounge glowing with Phil's candles. They meant to watch Bake Off, but Dan is enthusiastically telling Phil about the funny thing that happened to him at the store when he was buying more milk, and then Phil tells Dan about the crazy dream he had earlier while napping. They go on for hours, talking about everything: Phil's family, Dan's fears, their favorite contestants on X Factor. It's not until some of the candles start to burn out that they make their way to bed.

Walking behind Phil down their dark hallway, Dan hears him yawn and smiles to himself. He always thought Phil had a funny yawn. As they get into bed, Dan forgets about the alternate reality where he never got on that train; he doesn't want to imagine any life that turns out differently than the one he's living now.


End file.
